Other girls.

Her: I’ve been away for a month. You didn’t feel like being with other girls?
Him: No. You’ve ruined it for me and other girls.

Thanks for the submission, Payel!
Your boyfriend’s funny, right? Then get on over to the Submit page and send in some quotes!

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Friends.

When discussing a rival male:

Him: Don’t be so naive. He’s trying to bone you.
Her: He is not. Maybe he wants to be my friend.
Him: Who’d want to be friends with you?

Thanks for the submission, Ellie!
Your boyfriend’s probably funny. Send in some quotes via the Submit page and they might appear here!

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Drug.

Him: You’re like a drug to me.
Her: Because you’re hooked on me?
Him: No, because you’re ruining my life.

Thanks for the submission, Nichole!
There’s been some top-notch comedy sent in lately. Submit your own boyfriend quotes via the Submit page!

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Common sense.

Her: Who do you think has more common sense, me or you?
Him: I have enough common sense not to answer that question.

Thanks for the submission, Jennifer! This one made me laugh so I pushed it up the submission queue.

Think your boyfriend’s funny? Send in some quotes via the Submit page!

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Dreams.

Her: I’m going to quit my job because my boss is crazy.
Him: I’m proud of you for giving up on your dreams.

Thanks for the submission, Hannah!
I bet your boyfriend’s funny. Why not send in some of the things he says via the Submit page?

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Breathe in.

“Look at your tiny nose! Those aren’t even nostrils, they’re nostrelles.”

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Low and lazy.

Me: Your fly is open.
E: I’M ADVERTISING.

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Always on my mind.

Him: I thought about you at work today.
Her: Oh that’s so sweet! How come?
Him: We ran out of sandwiches in the cafeteria.

Thanks for a great submission, Anonymous!
Sorry about the absence everyone, The Girlfriend went on vacation and the automatic updates didn’t work. Back to usual now though! In the meantime, keep the funny boyfriend quotes coming in via the Submit page!

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